When I was younger I thought of the happenings in my life as deserved or undeserved. This was regulated by my likes and dislikes. Those events that I liked were classified as deserved and I would pride myself for those achievements. Those that I did not like were classified as undeserved. I would raise a question about them. "Why is this happening to me?" This was a pseudo question because i never made a serious attempt to answer it. The assumed answer was that this should have been happening to someone else. It was explained away by saying that the world was not fair. This blocked any in depth exploration and prematurely closed the question.

When I eventually examined this question in depth and with some honesty then I found my position to be horrendous. Fairness to me meant that all the goodies should come to me and that all the tragedies ahould befall others.

I have now outgrown this childishness. Today I hold that all the happenings, whether to me or in the whole universe, happen by the grace of God. God of course is not a person but the creative principle, the source of the created universe. This position has helped to clear the mind of a lot of superstition. I do not yet understand all that is happening but i am at least open about them. I do get disturbed by some of the events happening to me but by the grace of God, it does not cloud my vision for long.

Clarity and sanity soon descend on me.

Ganoba